I wanted people to tell me what frustrated them (their barriers). Their feelings about this are real and need to be acknowledged. Often they would tell me something about a coworker that “drove them crazy." I would respond, "Ok, I know what they suck at, now tell me what they do well?" Rarely could they answer it.
I would point out, this was a skill I had to learn myself but it was very useful. I'll admit, some days it was tough for me to find something nice about someone. I think there is value in having a place to admit that too. At that point, I could suggest something minor that the "other person" could do well. No matter how minor the good thing was, my hope was it would be undeniable - even for the person complaining. Then I say, "If you can't say something nice about someone, then you are not done looking."
My challenge to find more is because I've learned there is always more. I promise them if we know what they do well AND what they do poorly, then we can forge a more functional work day with them because we all can play to each others strengths and weaknesses.
I say all this because our team functioned more and more seamlessly on the floor after we all began to practice at this. It gave me some pride to hear the snarkiest of nurses asking another nurse "so, tell me what they do well?" from around the corner.
This applies to your most difficult of patients. Find out what they do well and what they do poorly. Similarly, for your "sweet as pie" patients, you may find out what they do poorly and also reaffirm what they do well. I have found out this assessment of others resulted in more prepared discharges (read - reduced risk of unplanned re-admit). This whole exercise is one of assessment, and of meeting needs - plus it makes the workday suck less.
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